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Jack Benny - Funny quotes

A few Jack Benny quotes... 

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. 

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

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