Thursday/Friday/Saturday Vents -
- The 17th Street Bridge is not really yellow. It's covered by leftover pollen.
True love is when your husband spends an hour searching the vacuum bag for your favorite earring and finds it at the very bottom.
Sunday/Monday/Tuesday Vents -
- The media is conspiring to keep Michael Jackson in the spotlight. It's called "Operation Enduring Freak Show."
I just love eating with plastic utensils. It reminds me of first class on Delta.
The value of a dollar has dropped more than 30 percent in the last year. Add that to your list of Bush accomplishments.
Dear wife, cellphones receive phone calls better when they're turned on.
Life Lesson No. 3,940: The person who pays for the pizza gets the toppings that fall off in the box.