EnjoyBeing (enjoybeing) wrote,

Do you like Scott Adams?

This is from the newsletter by Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) -
    Induhvidual Tales

    Here are some inspirational tales of Induhviduals, submitted by
    DNRC members. As usual, I suspect that many of them are either urban legend or lifted from past Dilbert Newsletters that I've forgotten. But that doesn't make them less funny.


    We were having a discussion about the culture in my organization when the head of my department said, "People need more work to do; then they won't have time to complain. A headless chicken is unable to voice an opinion."

    He's quite proud of this inspirational thought. He's thinking of putting it on the wall.


    My teenaged daughter asked if infertility was hereditary.


    My mom very proudly explained that she never buys Swiss cheese because "with all those holes you don't get as much per pound."


    The roof of my office leaks. We have called in for repairs half a dozen times. The repairmen wait until it stops raining before they come to the building. After they do their inspection the result is always the same; they tell us "It's not leaking now."


    Sitting in the school library researching for a history essay, I overheard a health class discussing the various kinds of contraception available. The teacher told them that abstinence was the best way. A student said, "Wait, I thought that abstinence was only 56% effective."


    In my physics class, my teacher made it very clear that he would only count each student's best two test scores. A student raised his hand and asked, "Do we get to pick which two are the best ourselves?"

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