I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
- Janette Barber

Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
- Jan King

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
- Carrie Snow

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- Caryn Leschen

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb and I'm also not blonde.
- Dolly Parton

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Elayne Boosler