EnjoyBeing (enjoybeing) wrote,


Some quotations I really like....

"It may be that we have all lived before and died, and this is hell." -- A. L. Prusick

"Men should think twice before making widowhood woman's only path to power." -- Gloria Steinem

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it." -- Garry Shandling

"National Condom Week is coming soon. Now there's a parade you don't want to miss." -- Jay Leno

"Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon." --Garry Shandling

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." -- Lewis Grizzard

"We had a quicksand box in our backyard. I was an only child, eventually." -- Steven Wright

"I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name." -- Paula Poundstone

"If it tastes good, it's trying to kill you." - Roy Qualley

"The key to a successful restaurant is dressing girls up in degrading clothes." -- Michael O'Donoghue

"Never let a computer know you're in a hurry." -- Unknown

"Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic." -- Dan Rather

"LAST WILL AND TESTIMENT: I owe much, I have nothing, the rest I leave to the poor." -- Rabelais (1494-1553)

"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat." -- P. J. O'Rourke

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