From Thursday, April 22
Surgeons say politicians are the easiest people in the world to operate on. They have no guts, heart or spine, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.
Why is it that at the fast-food drive-through, they either give you no napkins at all or enough to supply a family of four for a week?
The highlight of my father's recent European trip was having his decoy wallet stolen out of his back pants pocket. He bought the wallet at the dollar store and filled it with expired grocery store coupons.
Saddam has been captive without female companionship for months. As a humanitarian gesture, I recommend we send him Omarosa.