On a wall in a ladies room... "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it... "I do not"

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear pants don't you?

:)