Thursday, October 31
I told my friend I was going to be a Divorced, Middle-Aged, Overweight, Alcoholic Barbie for Halloween, and he said, "So you aren't dressing up, huh?"
The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
Was Jesus a liberal or a conservative?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
Friday, November 1
Explain how a man can wait patiently for hours for fish to bite -- which they may never do -- but cannot wait 10 minutes in a restaurant for food, which is a sure thing.
Which part of "Lights on when raining" do you numbskulls not understand?
Parents of east Cobb teenagers better check when their kids say they are spending the night with friends, because I know for a fact some of them aren't where you think they are.